Why You Can’t Focus with ADHD (And What Actually Helps)

Written By Melanie Mourt

You ever sit down to get something done, a simple email, a quick task, and somehow 40 minutes later you're deep in an article about how your luteal phase is affecting your creative flow?

No? Just me?

Focus is hard. But when you have ADHD, it’s not just a quirky attention span thing. It can feel like your entire life is running on 75 tabs, four of them playing music, and you still don’t know where the sound is coming from.

In this post, we’re unpacking why focus feels so impossible sometimes and more importantly, how to actually work with your ADHD instead of feeling like you have to force yourself into a box that was never built for your brain.


 
 

🎥 Prefer to watch instead of read?
Check out my full video on Why You Can’t Focus with ADHD for stories,

examples, and real-life tools that help.

The Real Struggle: It’s Not Laziness, It’s Regulation

When I was in med school, sitting through a three-hour anatomy lecture felt like slow, mental death. I could feel my body buzzing with restlessness while everyone else seemed to sit calmly, taking notes like it was no big deal.

So, I brought a giant exercise ball into class. One of those giant stability balls you do core exercises on. I rolled it down the center aisle of a 50-person lecture hall and parked it in the middle of the room and sat listening to lectures like a chaotic little goblin. Did I feel ridiculous? Absolutely. But it worked. That small movement helped me focus and take in information without zoning out. Think of it like a full body fidget.

That was the moment I stopped shaming myself for needing something different.

Because the problem wasn’t my ADHD. The problem was trying to make my brain operate like everyone else’s.

When we stop trying to fix ourselves and start working with our brains, everything changes. Focus, productivity, and especially our confidence and sense of self-worth.

ADHD & Shame: The Invisible Weight

Here’s the part no one talks about: ADHD isn’t just about getting distracted. It’s about the shame that follows.

Maybe this sounds familiar:

  • You can’t seem to start the task and you call yourself lazy.

  • You do everything but the one thing that really mattered that day.

  • You finally get it done late at night and instead of feeling accomplished, you feel burnt out and disappointed in yourself.

It’s a vicious cycle: overwhelm → hustle mode → burnout → shame → repeat.

You wonder, “If I could just focus, if I didn’t have ADHD, I’d be so much further along by now.”

You’re not alone in that feeling.

Why ADHD Looks Different in Women

For many women, ADHD is missed or misunderstood for years. That’s because women are more likely to mask symptoms through perfectionism, people-pleasing, or staying hyper-organized just to hold it all together.

On top of that, anxiety often overlaps with or hides ADHD. It’s common for women to get an anxiety diagnosis long before ADHD is even considered.

That’s why so many of my clients don’t get diagnosed until adulthood and why they carry so much shame, believing their struggles were personal failures instead of signs of a different operating system.

ADHD Is Not a Deficit of Attention, It’s a Regulation Issue

Let’s be clear: ADHD isn’t about not being able to pay attention. It’s about struggling to regulate your attention.

ADHD affects:

  • Executive function – Starting, organizing, completing tasks

  • Emotional regulation – Irritability, impulsivity, mood swings

  • Prioritization – Everything feels urgent and equally overwhelming

Trying to focus when your nervous system is dysregulated is like trying to read a book during a fire drill.

Your brain isn’t broken, it’s just trying to keep you safe. But in the process it’s often chasing dopamine, stimulation, or anything that helps relieve discomfort.

What Actually Helps: A Nervous System-Centered Approach

If ADHD “hacks” like Pomodoro timers haven’t worked for you - you’re not doing it wrong, they’re just not addressing the root issue.

1. Regulate Before You Concentrate

Before you try to focus, get grounded:

  • Do a 60-second vagus nerve reset

  • Move your body to release energy

  • Sip something soothing (my go-to is Air Blend, with herbs like ginkgo, gotu kola, and peppermint that support both clarity and calm)

Focus becomes so much easier when your nervous system feels safe.

2. Make Distraction Harder, and Action Easier

  • Use body doubling—just having someone nearby can help

  • Start with an ugly first draft to break perfection paralysis

  • Use binaural beats or brown noise to reduce sensory overwhelm

ADHD isn’t a motivation issue—it’s an initiation issue. These tools make that first step more accessible.

3. Support Your Physiology

Sometimes what looks like ADHD is actually a physiological imbalance:

  • Blood sugar crashes = brain fog

  • Low iron or ferritin = poor focus

  • Hormonal shifts during your cycle = executive dysfunction spike

📥 Want to know what labs to run?
Grab my free Lab Testing for Mental Health Guide for the root-cause tests I recommend most.

Supplements & Herbs I Use with Patients

You don’t have to rely only on medication to support ADHD. Here are some of my favorite natural supports:

Every brain is different, so your plan should be, too. I work 1:1 with patients to build customized strategies that support their unique neurodivergent brains.

You’re Not Lazy, You’re Wired Differently

If no one’s told you this yet today:

You are not lazy. You don’t need more willpower. And you’re not broken.

You’ve been trying to operate in a system that wasn’t built for your brain.

You don’t have to earn your rest by finishing every task. You’re allowed to do things differently. You’re allowed to take breaks, even when you’re finally being productive.

Watch the Full Video

If this post spoke to you, I’d love for you to check out the full YouTube video:
👉 Why You Can’t Focus with ADHD (And What Actually Helps)

It’s filled with stories, tools, and supportive insights to help you feel less alone—and more empowered.

🫖 Want a gentle place to start? Try Air Blend—my favorite ritual for calm, focused clarity.
📥 Or grab my Lab Testing Guide to explore your own root causes.

You’re not behind. You’re building a life that finally works with your brain.

Melanie Mourt
Next

How to Build an Evening Routine That Supports Sleep and Reduces Anxiety